As we all know the teenage years can either be the best or the worst of your life, mine are not the fondest memories I hold to say the least. Once you are told something over and over everyday you do start to believe things you are told, "You're just ugly and ginger" "you won't get anywhere in life" "you're just fat, ginger and you have no friends"...these are just some comments that got rammed into my brain when I was younger.
There is so much stigma about having red hair in society it's become a big joke, something to laugh at, something to point out in social situations to make others laugh...not thinking that it effects people and makes them very self conscious. As soon as I was allowed I started dying my hair any colour I could to cover it up in hope the comments would stop and I would be accepted instead of pointed out as a freak for it. This was my mask to also dealing with eating problems and self esteem as well as my hair colour. Looking back I wish someone had told me how awful my hair colours were but you live and learn, everyone has had a bad hair experience once in their life, mine just lasted a few years. After going through school and college, I started getting highlights to get my hair lighter and lighter until it was blonde. Weirdly I felt comfortable with myself, like being blonde was who I am.
Then I started working for a photographer as a studio manager and he asked me if I want to try modelling. I was beyond scared as I had never done it before and knew I wasn't the tallest or skinniest person around, but after I got used to it I became very comfortable and it helped with my self confidence. I moved down to Falmouth and started modelling for Griffin Photography and I actually felt prettier being blonde. I'd get compliments on how nice my hair is, no one pointing it out for negative reasons. This was a first and I was finally getting confident in who I was and feeling like I was one of the pretty people for once.
My lovely photographer Emma became like family to me and she kept telling me to embrace being a red head and dye it back but it wasn't until recently I really thought I should. I wanted a change, a new me and a new start but I built up so much anxiety over it, thinking about changing my hair would make me feel sick, bringing back all the comments that I was ugly when I had red hair. I was scared having red hair would change everyones opinions of me. Luckily for me the fashion world is embracing red heads which made me feel a little better that there are people wanting to have my colour hair and dying their naturally brown or blonde hair to be red.
I finally sucked it up and committed to the big change, which for everyone reading this won't seem like a big deal but for me it was a massive step in accepting who I am and really being confident in myself; like I tell so many of you to be. I felt I'd be a hypocrite if I couldn't be myself in front of you all. After a few paranoid moments, feeling very insecure and a few days of not wanting to leave my flat I started to get used to it and now I really am embracing my natural self. I am more confident now than I've ever been and to be totally honest it really is thanks to all of you. The lovely comments and the amazing support really helps me to be myself and be proud of who I am. I may not be perfect but I'm the only version of me in the world. Bad times don't last forever. However bad things get they won't last, something good is just around the corner. If nothing bad ever happened we wouldn't be grateful when we have good moments occur in our lives. Never be afraid of who you are, embrace it because no one is the same. You can't be anyone but you so be the best version of you that you can be and show it off!
I hope this wasn't too boring for you all to read but I thought I'd let you in a bit more into why I am the way I am today and if it's just reached one of you and helped you have a little more confidence than I'm glad I wrote it!
Gorgeous crystal :) beautifully written and you should be proud of who you are xxx
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this, you write so well! I have actually always wanted red or ginger hair, I think it gives people such a striking and unique look, and it used to remind me of disney princesses when I was little, haha. Its so wonderful to see you being confident in who you are. Actually, one of the first things that drew me to your instagram and now blog was seeing your hair and thinking 'wow, that looks beautiful', before I even realised you are a brilliant writer and basically seem to be all round lovely!
ReplyDeleteBethany c
curiousclaptrap.blogspot.dk
Thankyou so much! That means so much to me. You're lovely too and I'm glad we've made friends over our blogs! :) You're just as sweet and lovely, and I hope you get a starbucks/costa soon ;) xxx
DeleteGrowing up I was always envious of girls with red hair!! I never understood why people were cruel to people just because of their hair colour! No one can love you for being yourself if you don't embrace your natural self yourself!
ReplyDeletewww.carriedbyfoxes.com
Wow. Another poorly written "fashion" blog where somebody just goes on and on about themselves. What an original idea...
ReplyDeleteYou're clearly very ignorant as you must have read this post to see that it is "poorly written" and at the top it says don't write anything negative. Therefore you obviously don't lead a very fun life if all you do with your time is write negative comments on "poorly written fashion blogs" :) Thanks for the attention though much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteaw Crystal Lily,this is a fabulous post and so well written. I absolutely love it and is one of the best posts i have read in a long time.Thank you so much for sharing and i have no doubt it will certainly help quite a few people! You look absolutely fabulous and your hair may i say is just wow,you are such a lovely wonderful person who deserves the best! Thank you for being you! xx
ReplyDeleteYou're a white, middle class girl living in Britain in 2014, you're within the top 4% most privileged people on the entire planet. Hilarious how you can go on and on about your own "problems" like they are so important, whilst tens of millions of others suffer from real hardships like just finding something to eat every day. So self absorbed.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the colour of your hair is really important.
It astounds me that you think you know me very well and if you do why post this as Anon? Everyone has their own fights in life...or do you live the perfect life with no troubles, worries or issues? If that's the case you're very lucky. I am very lucky to have the life I have but there are horrors in my past that would mess you up and i'd love to see how you'd cope, no they aren't written above but this is MY blog about MY life and about what I want to write about...don't like it? Don't read it! :) But thankyou for taking time out of your life to give me some attention :) much love x
DeleteTo the idiot who posted this, no one person's issues are more important that someone else's. Yes other people suffer hardships and in the grand scheme of things there are bigger problems, but this is an issue many people face and by posting openly about her own experiences Crystal has helped and inspired many other people. This post isn't just about hair colour, it touches on bullying, self images and media body image and these are all bigger issues faced by many young women today. They may not be as important to you as something like world hunger, but to many people, being teased for their hair colour makes them want to shy away from the world. And then there is one less person confident enough about themself to help out others. You obviously took enough time out of your self righteous life to read this post and possibly blog, so if it offends you so much and you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Rather than criticising a young woman who has been confident enough to share her issues to help others, just so you can ruin her confidence again, why don't you go and do something useful like donating to charity?
ReplyDeleteI don't know who you are and I WISH to the bottom of my heart you didn't post this as Anon but thankyou! Thankyou so much for sticking up for me. I wasn't trying to be self absorbed but merely share an issue I know effects people and if it helps one person be confident in who they are then it was worth the petty comments from people who are clearly very bored of their lives! Thankyou again, LOADS of love! xxx
DeleteNice blog x
ReplyDeleteReading the comments does make you think that there are bigger problems out there though?
Hi JP, yes there are bigger problems out there in the world today and everyone knows that including Crystal,but the whole point of this excellent post is to help some girls out there who may have some insecurities about themselves and to try and help them with their confidence as it is an issue that does effect some people not to highlight the problem of world hunger etc! The totally unnecessary comment left by Anonymous who is not even brave enough to show us all who he/she is, is a comment that could be left on 1000's of blogs so why have they chosen to leave it here on this lovely girl's page? Totally unfair and uncalled for! If that comment was not there,i am sure you would be thinking, yes this is a great post and i hope it helps even one person out there! I am not getting at you as you were probably thrown off by that one comment!
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